mentalcat

I don't know what to write, I just feel like I have to do something. Can't sit still, can't study, can't focuse, definitely can't sleep even though I'm completely exhausted. What the fuck is my problem? Why can I not let myself be happy? I have a job I'm starting to like, I have GREAT friends, the nicest boyfriend and all the chances in the world to get into psychology if I just try a LITTLE. Why is it so god damn hard?

 

I don't know what's wrong with me so I'm gonna make a list of things that bother me instead. Because I'm not the problem, the world is.

 

1. Our messy appartment. Let's be honest, it looks like a shithole 80% of the time here. Why doesn't anyone clean up?! And why is the bird on the wall still not ready? Why do we even have a bird on the wall???

2. Laundry. The fact that I still haven't done it.

3. That B-I-T-C-H from last night. And like 5 other nights. Why does that kind of people even exist? And more imoportantly, WHAT WAS SHE DOING IN MY HOME? Who invited her? I kind of know I did but I have no clue why I would do such a thing.

4. My drunken drugcravings. Why is it that I completely forget who I am and what Í stand for after like... 3 beers?

5. That one "friend" of mine. I don't even know why I hate her so much. There is just something about the way she looks at me that kind of makes me wanna cut her throat. Stay calm bitch. You ain't shit.

6. My fakehair. I want it gone.

7. That everyone sucks. People are either too boring or too fucked up. Which makes making friends impossible.

8. That R always sleeps. How can anyone sleep that much?! It's fucking five in the afternoon and the guy just doesn't give a shit. I'm hungry. I wanna eat.

9. Mondays

10. Every other day of the week