mentalcat

We met tonight in my dream, at a place from my childhood. You walked towards me up the road and I stopped you. Nothing had changed, but everything had. You told me you were happy now, that you moved on and that I should too, but I couldn't decide weather you really meant it or if it was just your ego speaking, always so scared of showing your sensitive, wonderfully vulnerable true self. Then I rememberd it's been a year already. You probably meant it. 

 

I feel like I can't move on with my life. Something is pulling me back. Hard. And I have a difficult time figuring out weather it's just lack of motivation caused by too many years off the school bench and an overall hedonistic, destructive lifestyle or if it's really my heart trying to tell me something. 

 

I would do anything to go back in time just for a day or two. To feel all those feelings I felt one year ago. Two years ago. Three years ago. Who was that girl, so curious of the world, so filled with hope and love? How did she die? Where did I go?