mentalcat

I had a meltdown yesterday. Cried like a baby for hours and told R about my questionmarks about our future. It was the most horrible feeling in a long while. The look of shock and dissapointment in his eyes. The hurt anger. The pain. I had a flashback before my eyes about what losing him would be like. I never wanna feel that way ever again. I love him so much. My best friend and honeybun. Maybe you don't have to be so simillar. Maybe that's what makes it interesting. And maybe we don't have to talk about politics or what might happen when we die. There are lots of other things to talk about. All I know is, I couldn't bare losing my friend and boyfriend.

 

My lip is swollen. It hurts like hell and I look like a clown. Probably how God wants it to be.